These Are A Few of My Favourite Things..the CWG version

(To be sung to the tune of These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things from "The Sound of Music" - inspired by Abhinav Dhar's comment)



Balloons and rubbers
Looters and scrubbers
Aerostat helium
Cheering the stadium
Medals and muddles
Faux-pas and thrills
These are a few of mah favourite things!

And we mess up and we excel
And we cheer'em all
And we look at all these things
Oh what a Games we have heeeeeeeere.

Sheila and Suresh
Gagan and Bindra
Jamaicans and Scots
And tickets unbought
Thullas and aunties
Then volunteeeers
These are a few of mah CWG things

And we dress up and we go there,
We tell neighbours that we've done that
Simply being Indians we are
Oh what a Games we have heeeeeeeeeeere 

Five things you can do with a vuvuzela

1. Send them to Afghanistan and Waziristan. They can drive the Taliban out of their mountain caves

2. Gift them to your real estate agent before a purchase. He gets people to blow them. Prices fall. You buy.

3. Send it to your HR manager for use in office parties. You can report sick the next day, and they will understand.

4. Use it as a flower vase and offer it to sweetheart. Never has love and blackmail been combined so well.

5. Blow it in Lucknow. And hope like hell the statues will break

Private Dictionary of Shashi Tharoor

Twitter: A place where you first invite troubles, and where troubles later invite you

Pushkar: Brandname associated with the trading of cricketers like cattle

Cattle Class: The class you acquire when you buy cricketers as described above

Rendezvous: A secret meeting to discuss things with partners.

External Affairs: Affairs you have while sojourning abroad

Ban Ki Moon: An endearing Korean term that sometimes sounds like a Punjabi abuse

Hat Trick: When you bowl a maiden over, three times in a row while having a ball

Trivandrum: A place in India connected with Dubai, with a mysterious Gulf in the middle

Kashmir Problem: Something that Lalit Modi creates when he tweets across my Line of Control