Friday, January 15, 2010

Thackeray vs Thackeray: A sneak preview

Now that Bal Thackeray wants to ban Australians from cricket matches in Mumbai, the war with his nephew Raj has intensified. Here is a sneak preview on what will happen in the coming days.

Raj will demand that the Mumbai Marathon be renamed the Mumbai Marathion

Bal will demand that Kylie Minogue be renamed Kylibai Minoghe

Raj will say Shane Warne will not be allowed unless he changes name to Shanivarna Legspinotkar

Bal will declare Gregory David Roberts as Mumbai Ratna for his work "Shantaram"

Raj will demand Hugh Jackman speak Marathi in all his movies

Bal will want Foster's beer be served with paav-bhaji instead of the usual nuts

Raj will ask jazz bands in South Bombay to play the tutari instead of the saxophone

Bal will say that in line with the railway station, Victoria's Secret should be renamed Shivaji's secret. He will withdraw his idea after hearing that it might benefit the Sri Rama Sene, whose members are known to enjoy receiving lingerie.

The crisis will be resolved by Amar Singh, who will now try to make peace between the two Thackerays. He will call Bal his "bada bhai" and Raj his "chota bhai"

But after the patch-up he will be ignored. Amar will now go to Fiji, from where he will declare he is loyal to both the Thackerays, who will reject his call because he did not speak in Marathi.