Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Paraguay vs Japan - The Fully Faltu Kavita

Paraguay, hara gaye. Hara kiri kara gaye

Duniya bhar mein tha tension
Tokyo ubharega ya Ascuncion?
Samurai ab kamar kasey
"Kami kaze, Kamikaze"

Mach raha tha khoob shor
Phir vuvuzela ka uspe zor
Par na idhar goal, na udhar goal
Bas, do shoonya dikehy gol-gol

Phir penalty ka woh silsila
Bas ho gaya ab zalzala
Idhar bhi paanch aur udhar bhi paanch
Japaniyon par laga aanch

Phir Japney saare tooth gaye.
Apney huey Paraguay

Paraguay, hara gaye, hara kiri kara gaye.

Japani mein kami nahin
Par ball woh thami nahin
Goal woh gira gaye
Kamikaze ghar aa gaye

Paraguay, hara gaye, hara kiri kara gaye

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Shourie vs Mani: The Shoe joke

I love this old, apocryphal tale about the late 1980s.
Mani Shankar Aiyar was then joint secretary in the Prime Minister's Office, and considered close to Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi, whose lavish lifestyle was a matter of gossip.
Arun Shourie was executive editor at Indian Express, owned by media baron Ramnath Goenka, whose spartan looks are a matter of folklore.
The Congress government was at loggerheads with the Express over many things, including the Bofors scandal.
Shourie meets fellow ex-Stephanian Mani at a party.

Shourie says, "Mani, stop licking RG's shoes."
Mani says, "You too stop licking RG's shoes. At least mine are made by Gucci. Yours are made by mochi."

Monday, June 14, 2010

Five things you can do with a vuvuzela

1. Send them to Afghanistan and Waziristan. They can drive the Taliban out of their mountain caves

2. Gift them to your real estate agent before a purchase. He gets people to blow them. Prices fall. You buy.

3. Send it to your HR manager for use in office parties. You can report sick the next day, and they will understand.

4. Use it as a flower vase and offer it to sweetheart. Never has love and blackmail been combined so well.

5. Blow it in Lucknow. And hope like hell the statues will break